Afoul and a Vowel of the Law

“You get ONE word wrong on your spelling test, get a ZERO--there‘s no 'Y' at the end of Mississippi, son--and…and what’s with the word “CHEATING! in red ink at the top??”

“Jason with the Coke bottle glasses, well, he sits behind me and whispers, ‘How ya spell Mississippi,‘ so I whisper back, ‘Screw you,‘ and he pokes me in the back and calls me a “dick head” so I turn around and tell him, “LEMME ALONE, FOUR EYES!” and the teacher fails me!"

“For defending yourself and being HONEST!?”

(sigh) “No, Dad, for telling Jason there’s four i’s in Mississippi when I hadda Y at the end and missed it!"

“I’ll call Miss Taylor this minute and get it settled, and I’m proud you DIDN’T cheat or call him a bad word, son!”

“Couldja kinda hold off on that, Dad, cuz I got suspended when MissTaylor heard me mumble, ‘Dumb bull dyke‘...and that’s got a y… doesn’t it, Dad?”