Marian's Retirement Home

Although she shares space with her daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren, I can’t imagine she feels cramped in a 55,000 square-foot mansion with three elevators, complemented with a staff to clean its 132 rooms (of which 35 are bathrooms) sitting on 18 acres of prime real estate.

Marian Lois (Shields) Robinson, enjoys 24-hour limousine service and an on-call kitchen for her dietary needs and whims. Not bad for a former Spiegel Catalog and banking secretary who didn‘t inherit, earn or marry into such opulent trappings, huh?!

Marian's retirement digs are actually public housing, paid for by you ‘n me.

There hasn’t been a ‘First Granny’ in the White House since Dwight & Mamie Eisenhower lived there in the 1950s.

Then and now, why are we footing the bill and who did you say approved that?

Chant the New "N-Word" with Me? Pretty please?

There’s a dirty bag full of racial invectives that white folks have historically flung to denigrate black people in America, fighting words intended to hurt, words that ignite emotions and reactions, words from which nothing good ever comes, words which should cause one to cover his children’s ears.


But where is that unifying and stirring African-American voice in all of this, willing to scream “No’Bama,” “Hell, No‘Bama!,“ to keeping a narcissistic egoist from ruining any future chance of a black American attaining the highest office in the land?

How can we get thousands of people, of all races, to surround the White House, skooshing our faces through the fence openings, chanting “NoBAMA!!” until the cherry blossoms return to enchant the Washington landscape?

Were I to take a civil disobedience rap, it would probably be a Federal citation for littering, for sailing paper airplanes onto the White Lawn bearing my suggestions to heal the country and economy, cognizant that our FCO (Federal Community Organizer) can read (especially teleprompters) but who has no demonstrable experience or capacity for action while it is Mr. Holder busying himself with my prosecution for “Airborne Assault with Intent to Commit Common Sense.”

The ship of State isn’t listing, but rolled over and headed for Davy Jones’ Locker with its captain lashed to the wheelhouse, getting a facial makeover for television, making sure the megaphone is functional to deliver the message: “The shuffleboard tournament will resume in fifteen minutes once the wind rights the ship, and I intend to speak convincingly enough to create that very salvific breeze.”

Mr. Obama, please quit preening and 3-putting and burning av-gas to fuel your Air Force 1 vacations and simply run an ad for a contractor [Isn’t Donald Trump a licensed contractor?] with leadership and vision to run things for awhile, so the country can heal (while you scrawl meaningless rhetoric on ream after ream of White House stationery) because, after all, what's another $10 Million in your disaster authoring?

Arizona Now Hiring!

Arizona’s Gov. Jan Brewer announced that we’d build our own wall along the Mexico border and I wish to see a materials cost list so that I can donate bags of concrete or a roll of concertina wire or something tangibly understandable.

After all, stemming the flow of 40,000 illegals a month isn’t plugging the hole in the dyke with one’s finger, it’s as if a dam completely crumbled and the Fed doesn’t give a tinker’s damn.

The FCO (Federal Community Organizer) in Washington recently spoke of his pride in the progress the Fed has made during his administration while Arizona’s economy has continued to receive a financial drubbing less severe than the punishment meted to a birthday pinata.

I don’t think 5 miles of help in the span of the FCO’s White House residency is anything to brag about.

Illegals come here to work and labor costs to build a wall probably exceed materials costs, so let‘s empower and employ that willing, ready workforce. .

With chain gangs of work-hungry criminals building the wall, we can create jobs for Americans doling-out sleeping bags, refilling canteens, making sandwiches, treating blisters, sharpening shovels, maintaining power equipment, supervising the construction, and overseeing the chain gangs.

Obama Delivers

Our silver-tongued community organizer in Washington finally delivered on Presidential promises of job creation.

With the help of CEO Immelt, of the same General Electric that owned NBC during Obama’s emergence as a candidate for and eventual winner of camp-out rights in the White House, tens of thousands of jobs were created.

The pyre of broken Obama promises includes one to govern with open doors, but the massive job creation move came closely on the heels of a very secret meeting with former President Bill Clintstone and Chinese Premier Hu, so secret that it was in the living quarters with no one else present.

So G.E. handed plans and high tech assistance for China to create tens of thousands of jobs for Chinese workers, followed by the President creating a consultancy for Immelt to do more goodwill in the name of economic prosperity.

Okay so the jobs were Shangahai’ed but one has to look at the bright side that an election is coming and--since there’s no 2012 census--thousands of former Acorn workers may be able to staff election turnout efforts, unless, of course, President Obama brushes up on his Cantonese (language, not menus) and decidees to run ‘over there’ to capitalize on new admiration from adoring billions.

And you really wonder why I want to enjoy my golden years in Mexico, a land of burgeoning estate opportunities blooming as their residents flee across our border at the rate of 50,000 per month?

Flaunt That Holiday Hula Mr. President

As you and I spend buckets of our stockpiled money in the final dash to ring cash registers like Salvation Army beggars' bells for Christmas, please forget I'm a Catholic conservative, that President Obama' s a Democrat, and know that as un-Christian sounding and unsavory as this picture is, I'm so mad I'm shitting tinsel-trimmed, blue spruce pine cones.

Is Mr President taking the peoples' 747 (Air Force One) to Camp David (the Presidential retreat for which we pay Maryland) for Christmas, or back to be welcomed in the arms of the community he 'organized' (Chicago, Illinois)--the home state from which he was elected to Congress--to drop some Obama bucks on that devasted economy?

Naw...in order to make his Yule less cool [okay, frozen-cold] and ensure Michelle and the kids have a swell (of the ocean waves' variety) Noel, he's taking his air taxi--a 747, its crew and secret service and personal/Presidential entourage, all the way from Virginia to Hawaii and what's that gonna cost us taxpayers?

I don't wish him or anyone a lousy Christmas while the country's on its financial ass, but I'm hotter than spiced cider that he's so flagrantly flaunting it in my face and yours when suffering seems to be the commodity of the Season.

While the White House P.R. team engineers accountability for this poorly timed, festive, financial faux pas to (somehow) be hung on George Bush like a Boy Scouts' bag of mistletoe on a door frame, the 'first family' will be doin' the island booty-shake to strains of Don Ho on your nickel and mine as the Presidential poi party sways under Hawaiian skies.

He might have earned his first shred of respect from me had he taken Winnebago One to the projects and handed out hams to the needy even if it meant the wholesale slaughter of more pigs than the amount of pork in the Omnibus bill, but this latest gargantuan gaff is just our fearless leader's continued, demonstrative lack of good judgement from the same side of a brain that made the decision to hand an iPod to the Queen of England.

Psst, Fellow Conservatives: What’s All the Fuss?

I was vacillating between the choice DirectTV or Dish Network and, in three calls to the two companies, reached reps in the Philippines, India, and India, respectively.

This morning, I called UPS to compliment a delivery driver’s thoughtfulness (slipping my packages over my fence) and the rep who helped me was in Guatemala.

Fellow conservatives, you know I’m not a ‘bagger, but you have to give me credit for discovering the secret location the 600,000 new jobs Pres. Obama created!

I doubt those jobs pay very well but I’m excitedly anticipating the rollout of Washington’s plan for my daily commute, which he’ll probably liken to Rome not being built overnight.

This is such good stuff, I’m wondering if he’ll move my healthcare or V.A. Hospitals to some of those places (?).

MOSQUE AT GROUND ZERO IN NEW YORK CITY

Did you react to the title?


I believe in religious freedom in the U.S.--short of human sacrifice although I'm okay with Tennessee wackos who play with venomous snakes in church. That's just plum-funny to this Kentuckian and good TV that I'd watch on TBN or ESPN, and maybe even tithe to Sony to see.


A mosque at ground zero? Did we go to Nagasaki or Hiroshima in 1959 and, on that ominous ground zero site, build Our Lady of the Mushroom Cloud or Saint Meltdown Catholic churches, or erect The First Ebenezer Church of Fallout Jesus...?


I reacted to a mosque at the Twin Towers' site and am saddened, but tolerant, wishful it weren't so, yet I still believe in fortifying the tapestry of liberty with diversity as long as Old Glory is flying overhead.

Mob Puts Million Dollar Hit on Sheriff Arpaio

Renown (in conservative) and in some (liberal-left) circles 'notorious' Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has learned the Mexican drug cartel has put a $1 million contract on his head.
Known for enforcement actions against some of the 495,000 illegals who cross into Arizona every year and are stopped/found to be breaking other laws, to the delight of an electorate that keeps the zealous senior citizen sporting the badge, Arpaio seems nonplussed at a death threat with payola attached.

Before you decide to assassinate our most dedicated public servant, a few of us Arizonans and this blogger are just wondering....

After you slay poor Joe, what is the Mexican Mafia's Drug Cartel Division's cell-phone number that you're going to dial to claim your windfall?

Just how, exactly, are you gonna say, "Pay up, asshole," [because I really think you should practice that speech] in light of the fact their Juarez, Mexico, Chapter (Lodge? Franchise?) is murdering 400 people a month just across the river from El Paso, Texas?

And like any good reporter worth his salt, my last question is two-fold: What collection agency will you use to go after the mob once you figure out you're not Grand Marshall of their next 'Cinco del Estupido' parade or will you sue for breach of contract...and what the hell were you thinking when you sparked the ire of law abiding citizens already angry about a literal invasion Washington, D.C. chooses to ignore?

BP, Answer Me These, Please

I've written and sold print-, and written and produced broadcast advertising, and keep seeing your (BP’s) “Lookie what we’re doing,” and “I’m committed to the end” commercials on television.


How much, BP, did it cost you to produce each commercial?


Was the media buy…$20 million… $50 million… more?


How much equipment, how many more workers’ wages, how many more supplies (bags, HazMat suits, for example) could you have purchased with the money you’ve spent trying to cleanse your slick/blackened reputation instead of the ocean and beaches?


Wouldn’t you have enjoyed your efforts being heralded from the well-drafted and placed press releases—at not cost to you—precipitating news stories of your determined efforts?


Are you taking The White House’s lead in ineptness, here?

Perfect Retirement: Old Soldier for Hire

I'll kill Somali-coast pirates for you or die trying.

You provide the turret and sighted, twin-50 caliber machine guns, a mechanic for their maintenance, and enough ammo for practice and sustained firefights.

All I need is a private bunk, 3 squares, good coffee, and just enough stipend monies for port calls to buy a bottle, rent a woman, and load-up on smokes and replacement clothing; satellite internet would have me scream, "BO-NUS!"

Should I perish in the process, heroically or from old age or the effects of said bottle and cigarets, you may wrap me in Old Glory, and commit me to the deep six with the playing of 3 songs via .mp3: Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings (Leonard Bernstein), The Navy Hymn (USNA Choir) and any respectful rendition of the USA's national anthem.

My references succumbed to the accuracy of my handiwork, but you'll find my military record and commendations  deptict a soldier whose actions "reflected highest credit upon his unit, the United States Army, and the United States of America."

Should my demise occur before the U.S. fiscal bankruptcy follows moral bankruptcy into the crapper, somebody else can have my Social Security while you, your crew and cargo enjoy the sense of security I provided for a mere pittance and my opportunity to feel worthy as I went out with a bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang