Fringe Bennies

Formulation Room 116 was, for 42 years, 'Happy' Harry Ludkin's workplace at the lab where he prided himself on near-perfect attenance, but who was now late to his own surprise retirement party in the lunchroom.

His supervisor and coworkers were abuzz about the incredible record of two absences, no tardies, and seldom even a vacation during Harry's tenure at the plant.

Early-on, 'Happy' Harry had earned the moniker 'Happy' for singing and whistling in hallways, always one to kid and joke, and constantly greeting everyone with something complimentary or positive.

The phone rang and rang in the clean-room, until his buddy, Steve, hit the outer air-lock, prompting 'Happy' Harry to inhale deeply before sliding his surgical mask over his nose and mouth.

"C'mon, Harry, you can't be late for the this!!," Steve said as he helped Harry into the airlock where the men offed their gowns, gloves, caps, masks and shoe covers, and nearly skipped down the hall with enthusiasm.

Once the speeches ended, praise had been lavished, cake consumed, and gifts opened, Harry couldn't even imagine the amount of Valium he'd secretly inhaled over the years, and sobbed uncontrollably at the prospect of his personality going warp-speed toward a collision with his own uncomfortably unaltered state.