The Poor Sad Fate of Letterville

Q and U had been together since forever, shacking up in perfect union and the envy of every couple in Letterville, including the double consonants who liked living with their respective twins near the foothills.


Nobody ever quite figured out why K, Z, Y and J were loners, but there was always gossip about Y’s being trans-letteral, often dressing up like--and going out into print as--a vowel, tho' never had Y been as notorious as.... X.


O, E, A and I weren’t exactly shunned despite their slutty reputation for hanging-out everywhere with just about anyone, yet irony found some envying their popularity.


Q loved U unconditionally and she put him above all others, despite her appetitite for wanderlust and occasional flings with the vowels and, when U and Y hooked up, look out!


Some Letterites would hang in pairs and sing so prettily in their off- and on-again relationships that they grabbed attention performing “Diphthongs” in public to the delight of both, eye and ear.


The sad downfall of Letterville occurred in Englishland almost overnight, when that scoundrel Christopher Latham Scoles captured and sentenced all 26 in Letterville to solitary confinement upon round, metal keys to be beaten mercilessly and forever after, once Scoles sold out to Remingon in 1874 and the shameful perjorative of “QWERTY“ was attached without regard to lower cases.